


So Young

by Asspounder4000 (Megalomaniacal), Megalomaniacal



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Child Neglect, Eating Disorders, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, its only very briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Asspounder4000, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Megalomaniacal
Summary: just want to find a friend





	So Young

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway I rlly love my teen lesbians and if u wanna see me post/rb facts/headcanons/aesthetics abt them I have a tumblr for them @grossgirl-gang

_So young, just begun_   
_Don't need to live to know what I'll become_

It wasn't like Ronnie didn't know what people said about her. She knew very well. Daddy issues, druggie girl, dirty little rat, dyke. She heard the rumors about herself, she wasn't completely stupid. She just grit her teeth and ignored it most of the time, realizing that no matter how many times she'd lash out, they'd keep talking shit. It bothered her much more than she'd ever admit. Her dad was in jail- not that he ever paid attention to her anyway- and her mom practically ignored her all the time. She figured if people were gonna spread rumors, she might as well give them reason. She started sleeping around with anyone who asked, as well as with Denise's old flings. Denise was a classy whore, Ronnie was a cheap one. She always brought the guys to her house, always hoping her mom would react, send the boy away, even yell at her- just act like a normal mom- but it never happened.

_When you wake up, still in your makeup_   
_You'll make it home just fine without breaking down_

Denise remembered the first time she'd told anyone about Mr. Klinsky, the older man pinning her down and raping her in the library. Ronnie was the first person she'd told- she didn't even trust Dee- and even then, she tried to play it off like she'd wanted it. No one else knew, but couldn't help worrying that they did when she heard people talking about how she was a whore, a slut, cock-hungry bitch. It made her feel a little bit sick, so she repressed the memories of that day in the library. So what if she couldn't have sex unless she was on top, because being beneath someone gave her panic attacks? She played it off as wanting to be the one in charge, when it was really that she just didn't want the other person to have power over her, didn't want to be in a position where they could force her into anything.

_Man that's so young_   
_That's so young_

_Stay calm, we'll all just get along_   
_Sit around, pretending like nothing's wrong_

Charlie hated Denise the first time Ronnie brought her to hang out with them. She'd been angry- jealous, really, but that was a feeling she wouldn't understand or admit to. Denise smelled like strawberries. She was clean and pretty and wore fancy clothes. Ronnie looked at Denise differently than she ever looked at Charlie. Charlie hated it for a while, lashed out at anyone who joked about her and Ronnie being lesbians, a rumor that had never bothered her before. Ronnie was Charlie's only friend, her best friend. Charlie felt painfully lonely without her. No dad, no friends, nothing.

_So long,love letter_   
_But you and I, are gonna live forever_

Ronnie started dealing drugs with two main goals- to either make her dad proud, or make her mom pay some sort of attention to her. She ratted out anyone else she found selling drugs in the school, but never got caught herself. She felt almost invincible, selling drugs, smoking weed, and inhaling chemicals until she was too high to even remember that she had parents in the first place.

_I need to make amends_   
_But I'm done going undercover_   
_I just want to find a friend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Denise never stayed with any one man for more than two weeks. She'd sleep with them a few times, get bored of them, then cut them off completely. It worked out well since none of them wanted to stay with her either. Sometimes they'd fuck her and leave- that always infuriated her. She hated not being in control. She hated not deciding when to end it. More often than not, she'd attempt to ruin the lives of anyone who decided to leave her first.

_One day the world may end_   
_But there's still plenty to discover_   
_Till then I'll just pretend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Charlie really, really hated the way Ronnie looked at and talked about Denise. She preferred to just get so high that they'd forget anyone else existed, and then she wouldn't have to listen to Ronnie talking nonstop about Denise fucking Reynolds. Charlie knew nothing about Denise, except that she was a slut and a bitch and was stealing her best friend.

_So young, loaded gun_   
_Oblivious to what the trigger does_

Ronnie hated condoms, but after her pregnancy scare, she started using them. Her period was two weeks late and she'd been sleeping around plenty. She'd gone to tell her mom, but the woman had just grunted and blown out a puff of smoke from her cigarette. Ronnie had freaked out then, screaming at her mom, asking why she didn't love her or pay attention to her. Her mom just stared blankly at her, and Ronnie fell onto the couch beside her and sobbed, apologizing for screaming at her. Her mom still said nothing.

_When you wake up, never gonna make up_   
_Got ammunition on a mission, gonna shoot you down_

Denise didn't like Charlie. She didn't like how she smelled or how she looked at her. Charlie would randomly lash out, yelling about random and irrelevant things, calling Denise a bitch. Denise didn't really care, except when it reached the point that she was hanging out more with Ronnie than anyone else.

_Man that's so young_   
_That's so young_

Charlie and Denise didn't stop hating each other until they realized they had to. Denise lashed out and Charlie fought back, both of them practically at each others throats while Ronnie sat and watched, frowning, thick brows furrowed. Denise actually hit her, flat palm making contact with the side of Charlie's face and leaving a rather obvious handprint.

_Knock out with the Midas touch_   
_A champion wearing golden gloves_

Ronnie had yelled at Denise for hitting Charlie, as if Charlie hadn't ever done anything wrong. She'd gone so far as to tell Denise to get the fuck out of her house, slamming the door behind her. Denise had pounded on the door for a while, knuckles bloody and bruised by the time she left. Ronnie tried not to feel bad, but she couldn't help it. Now both her friends were injured. She felt guilt- heavy, thick, and strong- weighing down in her gut.

_Got you punch drunk, seeing stars_   
_Little birdie singing_   
_"Why'd you fall so hard?"_

Denise-in trying to tolerate Charlie to make Ronnie happy- discovered that Charlie was a lot more fun when she was drunk off her ass. Getting drunk had its vices, however. They somehow got into talking about more serious topics, which ended up in Denise crying, clutching a bottle of vodka to her chest and every once in a while taking a sip out of it. She told Charlie and Ronnie about the librarian, Ronnie staring at her and listening and Charlie crying along with her. Charlie had told Denise something that night, but they were both too drunk to remember the next morning.

_I need to make amends_   
_But I'm done going undercover_   
_I just want to find a friend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Charlie discovered a cute little blonde girl in their grade and began talking about her nonstop. It drove both Denise and Ronnie crazy, and they finally both told Charlie to just ask the chick out already. Denise and Charlie had seemingly become close overnight, as if crying drunk together had created some sort of bond between the two. Rumors were beginning to circulate about Denise hanging out with Dirtgrub and Ronnie the Rat. Charlie, purposely oblivious to everything people said about her, took Denise's advice and summed up the confidence to talk to the girl. The girl rejected her almost immediately. When she told Denise and Ronnie, they brought her to Denise's house to smoke weed and eat pizza.

_One day the world may end_   
_But there's still plenty to discover_   
_Till then I'll just pretend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Ronnie's feelings were obvious to everyone except the three of them. She looked at Denise as if the older girl was made of gold, giving her free drugs and hanging out with her and Charlie constantly. Denise almost exclusively hung out with just the two of them, but still maintained the idea that she was popular. Ronnie didn't even realize her own feelings, not when she was so used to everything she felt being completely neglected. She didn't know how to process her feelings for others, and preferred to ignore them rather than figuring them out. She especially didn't want to love anyone, not when every 'I love you' she'd ever spoken had been ignored.

_My light_   
_Burning bright_   
_Everlong, till the thrill is gone_

Denise was jealous of Ronnie and Charlie's bodies, especially Ronnie. Ronnie, who's breasts were large and the object of many men's fantasies, who didn't care about her weight, who could eat whatever she wanted and not want to puke afterward. Barbara had taught Denise from a young age that being anything other than thin was unacceptable, that she should feel disgusted with herself for overeating or gaining weight. She was physically weak, something that had played a part in the situation with Mr. Klinsky. Her weight, bones poking through her skin, was one of the reasons she couldn't fight back- and, in turn, one of the reasons why she blamed herself for what had happened. She pushed it back, repressed it as best as she could, and claimed that she was a Goddess. A Golden Goddess, shining bright, too good for anyone else.

_Love's my_   
_Battle cry_   
_It's never wrong_   
_How I stay so strong_

Charlie knew more about Denise than Denise thought she did, and Charlie understood her much better than anyone knew. It wasn't like Charlie would tell anyone- Ronnie was her best friend and Denise had somehow become her other best friend- she loved the both of them. She stuck by them for all their dumb schemes and they stayed with her. She never brought up Denise's past trauma, but she could see the affects it had on her. Charlie wasn't as dumb as everyone thought she was.

_I'll fight all my life_   
_I'm all like_   
_I can't go on_   
_I can't go on_

Ronnie sometimes feared that Denise and Charlie would ditch her. She knew it was unreasonable, but some part deep inside her was terrified that no one cared about her, no one wanted her around. She slept around, dealt drugs, worked out and performed ridiculous stunts, putting on a tough facade to try and impress them. She convinced herself that she was tough.

_We're gonna live forever_   
_We're gonna live forever_

Denise knew that Ronnie and Charlie knew why she went to the bathroom after every meal, why she came out pale-faced and red-eyed. She knew the worried look in Ronnie's eyes whenever Denise talked about weight. Denise would eat with them, sure, but she never kept it down for long. If she could get away with not eating at all, she would. Something about the two of them made her feel comfortable eating publicly, when normally she hated people seeing her eat.

_I need to make amends_   
_But I'm done going undercover_   
_I just want to find a friend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Charlie, at some point, drunkenly told Denise about her childhood crush on Ronnie and how their first kisses had been each other. Denise, also drunk, had teased them about it, ignoring the tiny pang of jealousy she felt upon hearing that. They were friends long before her, back when she just hung out with her sister Dee and their mother's maids. She felt left out, almost, as if she'd missed out on something important. It hurt, but she'd never admit it to them or to herself.

_Today the world will end_   
_You never know, we may recover_   
_I'm trying not to pretend_   
_I don't need another lover_

Ronnie tried her best to ignore the way she felt about Denise. It was sinful. She wished she hadn't realized what her feelings were, wished that she could've talked to one of her parents about it. She visited her dad in jail, but he always just stared at her, not interested in anything she had to say. She was too scared to talk about her feelings with a man who wouldn't even say "I love you" back.

_It's troubling_   
_When the belly of the beast stars rumbling_

Denise didn't talk to her parents about her friends, but she heard her mom mumbling and complaining about having 'filth' in her household. It made Denise angry, but she didn't speak up. It was best to stay on her mother's good side, to get praised for being thin and pretty and sleeping with boys. She saw the way her mom talked to Dee, and she didn't want that for herself. She didn't tell her parents anything, out of fear that they'd be angry. She was closer to Charlie and Ronnie than she'd ever been to her parents.

_Getting too hot like the summer in the city that we're living in_

Charlie was always able to go to Ronnie's house- any day at any time- and Ronnie could do the same with her. With Denise, they couldn't just show up, but often she'd come to their houses without warning instead. When something was wrong with any of them, it was like the other two somehow knew. It was the summer of their senior year when she told them she loved them, drinking cheap booze and smoking weed in Ronnie's bedroom, sitting in their underwear because it was grossly hot and there was no air conditioner. Relaxed and fuzzy-brained, Charlie told the other two how much they meant to her. None of them would ever speak of it again, but they all agreed that they'd die without the other two.

_So young_


End file.
